Georgian beauty tips
Well, us Georgians are used to the odd pandemic. Last time Fanny and I had the pox we were both laid up for weeks. It was touch and go for a bit and it wasn’t until we were down to our last jar of pickled oysters and pint of gin before we were finally able to go back out again for supplies (gin).
Finally the symptoms went and all we were left with was a slight hangover... oh, and a hideously pockmarked face. Luckily enough Georgian England left us prepared and after a liberal coating of massively poisonous lead face makeup we were ready to go back out into the world.
Why not get summer-ready with Fanny and George and get yourself looking your best with a fantastic retro Georgian makeover?
If three lockdowns taught us anything it was to appreciate everything we have. We used to take for granted being able to meet friends for a nice walk along the river, to enjoy a bit of green space, or watch two chickens competitively rip each other to shreds at the cock fighting. Treasured memories!
Now restrictions have eased a bit we are looking forward to catching the stagecoach up to Lancaster again for a family day out. You get the best hangings up in Lancaster. I imagine there’ll be quite a backlog to get through now. They might drop 7 or 8 condemned prisoners at once. Good times!
Now, at times it was difficult to get supplies during lockdown. When the pandemic started it was a struggle to get flour or rags to wipe yourself with in the privy but thankfully one thing has been in abundance, mother’s ruin – gin!
Now, me and Fanny both love a nice (pint of) gin. With 40,000 people living in the town of Liverpool and no sewerage system it provides a nice, refreshing alternative to the dangerously contaminated water found in the docks and river. With virtually no taxation, or licensing of distilleries the average person is drinking 10 litres of gin a year (to be honest though I’ve seen Fanny do that in a good weekend).
When all the eateries were closed Fanny and I had to learn how to make a few dishes ourselves. Normally we’d chug back a few oysters down the Red Lion as they are such good, cheap food for the masses, but during lockdown we had to get inventive.
Fanny is dying to try this new dish everyone has been talking about, fresh in from London (fancy!) Apparently some big wig (I mean that literally, you should see the size of some of these powdered wigs!) called John Montagu, the Earl of Sandwich, spent a full 24 hours playing cards - let’s hope he was socially distancing! Instead of getting up for dinner like any normal person he asked his servants to bring him some meat between two slices of bread so he could carry on playing cards without getting his fingers dirty. Lazy so and so!
Anyway, the dish has been named after the Earl of Sandwich so for dinner tonight Fanny is going to make us a plate of Earls. I’ll let you know how we got on. (Update - they were horrible. I don’t think it’ll catch on).
Now that restrictions are lifting hopefully we’ll be able to hold a few parties again – if we can find one of those exotic new fruits to hire for the occasion of course!
Time for a cuppa
We’ve had some hard times during the pandemic, I’ve certainly been feeling the pinch and with much international travel on hold for so long Fanny had tremendous trouble finding sailors willing to buy her ‘oysters’.
Like a lot of local small businesses, I’m considering doing a delivery service as I’ve been sitting on a lovely shipment of tea for a while now. I can guarantee you the best price in town (tax free if you get my meaning, nudge nudge).
Now, you may be wondering how George here is able to offer you such a good deal? Well, I use less traditional import routes than most (meaning the lads from the Customs House don’t get a look in) but I’m not alone, 4 in 5 cups of tea drunk in Georgian Britain have been smuggled in to avoid the taxes.
You want any tax free tea, wigs, wig powders, wallpaper, chimneys, or windows you come and let me know. The king’s put a tax on everything to fund his wars with the French. Who knew importing goods from Europe was going to get so costly and difficult eh?
Anyway, I'd best be off. Maybe I’ll see you back in the Red Lion one day for a gin!
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